To unpathed waters, undreamed shores.

11th May 2012

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In the nights.

Moved to a new environment to stay with dad, I know I had to adapt to a change once again, but that don’t really bother me anymore, because it’s good to have a change in life every now and then. I stayed up all night, guess I still need some time to get comfortable, and listened to Lara Fabian’s Broken Vow. I stared into blank space and sank deep down for a moment. Life could be a real pain in the ass but all those circumstances only trained me stronger. I know no one could help me if I had gave myself up too. Life would be meaningless if one stops hoping. I would never give up.. And now, I need a back-up plan to get myself back to studies.

6th May 2012

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残废..

你说的对，我好会演，连我自己都分不出哪个才是真正的我了，虽然这句话从你口中说出让我觉得好痛.. 全世界能够这么说我，就只有你不能，因为你是最了解我的人。但我认了。。我的确，没有一个能够围护我自己的理由。我怎么能够变成这个样子，外表看起来毫安无事，心却残废了…

9th April 2012

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Life

It’s a Monday with gloomy sky as the thunder whispers.

I called mom and as usual, we ended our conversation after a thousand knifes threw on me. On the verge of breaking down but it went back in again as soon as I hear dad’s voice. Life’s all about fate.. And I’ve leave it all to god long before. I never felt belonged in anywhere, never a place to feel safe and secure, what happened to me somehow teaches me nothing’s permanent. And so is Love. Mel has been really nice to me these days, and I treasure the moments with him even the simplest. Although I could no longer feel the passion, somehow I hope that I could get back on track, I guess deep down my heart lies a little faith hoping for the better, and I know he feels the same too. Yet, a level of uncertainty has not gone away. Love is the most important ‘ingredient’(I would say) to make life complete and meaningful, yet hard to maintain it, hardest to build it strong. I guess because we could never love like we have not been hurt before, I could never find the moments when you looked into each others’ eyes without speaking, and smile because you know we feel the same.. But I know it happens, maybe plenty to others. And I would never stop hoping..